An 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to the wife’s interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed," the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It’s free. This is Heaven."
Next they surveyed the championship golf course behind the home. They would have golfing privileges every day, and every week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"
Peter’s reply, "This is Heaven, you play for free."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with cuisines of the world. "How much is it to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don’t you understand yet? This is Heaven, it’s free!," Peter replied with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
Peter explained, "That’s the best part – you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven!"
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and the man’s wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault! If it weren’t for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
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